Meredith is one of the many men and women whose perfectionism negatively affects their sex lives. According to sex therapist Ian Kerner , It Is fairly common for people to feel forced to have a particular frequency of sex, to be open and accessible, to appreciate many different positions and techniques, and to make sure their partner constantly reaches conclusion. This degree of perfectionism can give rise to a phenomenon referred to as spectatoring, in which a person feels as though they are observing themselves have sex, and spends the whole time concerned about their operation. It can develop a level of tension and worry," Kerner told the Cut.