What I lost was the perception I had of being independent of my higher self. I am no longer the free agent I thought I was, not that I ever was. It is now clear to me that I, this being in the third dimension, am only a representative or avatar of my true self of the higher dimensions. This is undeniable now. I have lost the ability to do whatever my intellect or emotions tell me to do and will only move from the guidance of my higher self.