I've been writing about burgers. Plenty of times. Desolate looking burgers, dry burgers, larger than life burgers, black burgers, gourmet burgers. We love them all, the way a mother loves all her children; but as a middle child would tell you, we detests it when mum pretends to love all of us equally. In fact, we all know that it should come to this. Finally, a definitive list or ranking of my burger obsessions - napkins required.