I bet your mum would be proud to pieces at how much you’ve been doing, continuing to bring what you love and what you know to others. I think it shows how well organized you are and how good you are at your chosen work that you can keep working while still fully grieving her death. If other people can imagine a paradise afterlife with golden streets, I can imagine my ideal afterlife for those I love, and it’s that their spirit sticks around and gets to experience what I do when I think of them, like they are there with me seeing with my eyes. I like to think of other people having that too, it makes me feel like they are protected and can be in full despair at times without it hurting them in any lasting way. So I like to think of your mum seeing Eliot every time you see him and think of her, and her seeing the beautiful rainbow in Port Ludlow when you saw it, and London and all the great things you’ve seen lately. That’s what kept me going when my grandpa died. If I keep going out and looking at things he likes he gets to see them too and we’re together then.