If you take Derbyshire's notion, that power is shown by an arrow, pointing to who you cannot criticize, those who are unmarried, sexually active, the Lena Dunhams, the Sandra Flukes, the single Black mothers (often illiterate) -- those are the winners in life. They are the ones with the power, while being married is to be seen as a loser, by women. See any Saturday Night Live skit on that.