So for women like Meredith who are dealing with their particular perfectionist standards, or for women who've perfectionist partners, they ought to make sure they're becoming amply aroused to ease their anxiety. That could mean fantasizing during sex, sharing fantasies with your partner, or seeing ethical porn," Kerner said. The irony of the approach is clear, though: Because perfectionists might be dying regarding the arousal process, attempting to get turned on sufficient to appreciate sex can be a vicious cycle unto itself.