Because, within moments of losing his life―― he couldn’t escape his selfish desire to face the end at Emilia’s side.” Subaru is by far at his worst up until this point of story. I’m infuriated because of his indecisiveness and spinelessness. In the world, where there is literally zero reason to keep living, he can’t end his life. Why he couldn’t just use Lewes’ clone and blow up himself? More importantly he decided to risk Emilia and other precious people’s life to him, he forced them to suffer for no fucking reason. And no, he didn’t lost his sanity. And if Emilia would be eaten alive because of his retardness, I would never forgive him, despite the fact that Subaru is by far my favorite character. And what an irony, his first kiss was stealed by his stupidity and Emilia being out of her mind, kind of his punishment. Truly pathetic. Btw, Emilia is still super cute, even if she is out of her mind, EMT ❤ that's a miracle.