I have to say, I related like hell (ha, ha) to a lot of what the author was saying about wishing to die pure, wishing for an apocalypse now scenario, just to avoid having to face my inevitable mileage of sins. Even as a young girl, I realized I had a whole lot of weird going on inside, and feared that my humanity and Mormonism would be forever at odds. But much like the author of the article, after going on a mission that was a far different experience than I had bargained for and coming home from the Dominican Republic no less a feminist, I think that’s when I decided to start dipping my toes into different puddles of rebellion. And I feel like this quote from “Random Memories” really spoke to how I wished I could feel after making choices that weren’t always in line with church teachings: