See, I’ve liked a girl before…enough to desire to date her. If things had progressed, I’d have wanted to marry her. I didn’t just love her as a friend…I desired her in every sense of the word. Now, when you’ve never desired anyone physically who wasn’t male like yourself, you don’t really know what to do with that. But I pursued her quietly but persistently for four years and was shot down each time. We remained friends for a time, but I finally decided it was too painful to keep up communication with her. I still think the world of her, but when she got married, I declined to go to the wedding. I knew I couldn’t handle that emotionally, watching the one girl I’ve ever wanted say “I do” to someone else. Just the thought of it reminds me of the feeling I had when I read the wedding invitation…like my heart was being ripped out from my chest. Maybe that sounds cliche, but it’s the truth.