But I feel the price of this companionship, and it weighs heavily on me at times. I can tell Samwise is often left bored or confused or both by the end of any given meeting. And more often than not, I find myself glancing over anxiously at him when a certain, er, uncomfortable concept is preached from the pulpit, wondering how crazy he thinks I must be for willingly sitting and listening to ideas that I don’t necessarily even support or am actively against. At other times, I simply look at him with guilt, wondering how I can drag someone along with me to a meeting when I don’t even know how much I want to be there myself. Poet Emily Dickinson has an insightful way of looking at the conundrum of spirituality vs. church worship in her poem “Some Keep the Sabbath going to Church:”