I can only say that, if this is where you’re coming from, I understand you completely. I myself was fearful for a long time in just that way. But when I came to realize the truth of the kinds of things Ron has written on this site and many others have written about biblical interpretation and the meaning of the specific contents of scripture – not just the “clobber passages”, but the whole Bible – I came to know more fully the love of God as shown in Jesus Christ and to realize that my homosexuality was something that I could – and desired to – live out in a way that glorified God rather than one that brought shame on the name of Christ. I have been seeking to do that for some time now. I can’t say that I am “secure in my eternal reward,” because, as you have rightly pointed out, our sin is always with us and can lead us to interpret things that are justifications of our own sinful ways rather than “rightly dividing the word of truth” (though this is the case with you as well, since your sin – that includes, in my estimation, believing that homosexuality is inherently sinful – also skews your biblical interpretation to support whatever [mis]interpretation satisfies your own desires, however misguided or rightly guided those desires might be). I can, however, say that I am secure in Christ’s love for me and in my sense of dependency on Him for anything good that comes to me. So, when the final judgment comes, and I stand before the Throne of Grace, I will await God’s judgment; confess that God’s judgment is true, whatever it may be; ask forgiveness for all the sins God points out, knowing that it is Christ’s sacrifice that makes such forgiveness possible and available to me; and trust that I will spend eternity in the place that has been prepared for me since the foundation of the world.