The girl 's first proud impulse was to turn coldly away and leave him . But some strange tumult in her heart kept her still . What had he come to say ? There was a moment 's fateful silence . Then Spencer spoke in a muffled voice . `` I could n't go away without seeing you once more , Estella , to say good-bye . Perhaps you wo n't speak to me . You must hate me . I deserve it . '' He paused , but she said no word . She could not . After a space , he went wistfully on . `` I know you can never forgive me -- no girl could . I 've behaved like a fool . There is n't any excuse to be made for me . I do n't think I could have been in my right senses , Estella . It all seems like some bad dream now . When I saw her that night , I came to my right mind , and I 've been the most miserable man alive ever since . Not for her -- but because I 'd lost you . I ca n't bear to live here any longer , so I am going away .
Will you say XXXXX , Estella ? ''
Spencer dream excuse girl good-bye impulse mind silence space word