That was the end of the review , and the regiments went off to their camps in the rain , and an infantry band struck up with -- The animals went in two by two , Hurrah ! The animals went in two by two , The elephant and the battery mul ' , and they all got into the Ark For to get out of the rain ! Then I heard an old grizzled , long-haired Central Asian chief , who had come down with the Amir , asking questions of a native officer . `` Now , '' said he , `` in what manner was this wonderful thing done ? '' And the officer answered , `` An order was given , and they obeyed . '' `` But are the beasts as wise as the men ? '' said the chief . `` They obey , as the men do . Mule , horse , elephant , or bullock , he obeys his driver , and the driver his sergeant , and the sergeant his lieutenant , and the lieutenant his captain , and the captain his major , and the major his colonel , and the colonel his brigadier commanding three regiments , and the brigadier the general , who obeys the Viceroy , who is the servant of the Empress . Thus it is done . '' `` Would it were so in Afghanistan ! '' said the chief , `` for there we obey only our own wills . '' `` And for that reason , '' said the native officer , twirling his mustache , `` your Amir whom you do not obey must come here and take orders from our Viceroy . '' Parade Song of the Camp Animals ELEPHANTS OF THE GUN TEAMS We lent to Alexander the strength of Hercules , The wisdom of our foreheads , the cunning of our knees ; We bowed our necks to service : they ne'er were loosed again , -- Make way there -- way for the ten-foot teams Of the Forty-Pounder train ! GUN BULLOCKS Those heroes in their harnesses avoid a cannon-ball , And what they know of powder upsets them one and all ; Then we come into action and tug the guns again -- Make way there -- way for the twenty yoke Of the Forty-Pounder train ! CAVALRY HORSES By the brand on my shoulder , the finest of tunes Is played by the Lancers , Hussars , and Dragoons , And it 's sweeter than `` Stables '' or `` Water '' to me -- The Cavalry Canter of `` Bonnie Dundee '' ! Then feed us and break us and handle and groom , And give us good riders and plenty of room , And launch us in column of squadron and see The way of the war-horse to `` Bonnie Dundee '' ! SCREW-GUN MULES As me and my companions were scrambling up a hill , The path was lost in rolling stones , but we went forward still ; For we can wriggle and climb , my lads , and turn up everywhere , Oh , it 's our delight on a mountain height , with a leg or two to spare ! Good luck to every sergeant , then , that lets us pick our road ; Bad luck to all the driver-men that can not pack a load : For we can wriggle and climb , my lads , and turn up everywhere , Oh , it 's our delight on a mountain height , with a leg or two to spare ! COMMISSARIAT CAMELS We have n't a camelty tune of our own To help us trollop along , But every neck is a hair trombone -LRB- Rtt-ta-ta-ta !
is a XXXXX trombone ! -RRB-
Mule Viceroy animals captain colonel companions hair questions servant wills