Richard Nixon Vs Gabe Newell
Verse 1 (Gabe):
Nope, don’t worry, it’s just me, Gabe Newell
But you can call me the DoE, ‘cause I’m taking you to school
You’ll find I’m the true Source of the downfall of this lonely cuck
You can’t show me a big loser and expect me not to blow him up
I’m the gaming scene’s G, Modeling high quality
You were Left 4 Dead, Quaking in your boots before pardoning
The nation you betrayed celebrated when you were finally gone
But I gotta wonder, was McGovеrn really worth spying on?

Verse 1 (Richard):
Thе goals of a President are something very stressful
Though it seems my attempts to make Lennon give up were successful
How about I turn the Valve so you’ve got no rhymes to spout
Cuz you should make like Gordon Freeman and shut your damn mouth
This nerd’s Smoking Gun’s so weird it sounds like Aperture said it
Think microchips are a good idea? Your personality needs an edit
Your wife would say that half your life was spent counting polygons
Look, if your son was that scary, you should’ve pulled out, like I did Vietnam!
This Tricky Dick will hit your eye if you try to start dissing me
And the world will know that Gabe Newell suffered from Fucks’ dystrophy
Verse 2 (Gabe):
You had a chance to redeem yourself, but clearly it is far too late
I’m overwhelming you with these flows, call me Watergate
Your chance of beating Kennedy was lower than winning a knife
Like, how the fuck do you bash your knee on fucking car door twice?
From PC to HTC, I’m revolutionizing the industry
You were VP in ‘53 but you still had to wait for Lyndon B
I’m Pyro how I’m bouta burn this novice, cutting you short like your terms in office
Your juice company was squeezed to death while my Orange product turned a profit
600 knives and rhymes cutting through you; I’m in beast mode
I’d say this Dick was licked when he got choked out by a Deep Throat
Now I think it’s time to resign, however tersely
But if you insist on sticking around, just wait for verse 3

Verse 2 (Richard):
You offered up a service to do everything it can do
But instead you took the money and ran; Spiro Agnew
Whether Steam or COVID, you heard some bad news then fucked off
I’m a man of the American people. And you’re not
You were locked in the Gates of Hell, sealing your own Doom
I dunked on Kennedy by sending motherfuckers to the moon!
I do what it takes to get things done, I don’t believe in bygones
Cos I am not a crook, I’m an American icon!